Figuring out this stuff

I'm going to be totally and completely honest with you guys and cut the bull, life is fricken kicking my ass. It's not that it's bad, it's just hard to find work right now for me in my field in the area I live in. Utica seems to me such a starved place of creativity it's incredibly sad; it's like a city trying to be a real city and it just sucks. The only real jobs I can try to find around this area for writing and illustrating is maybe a job in one of the hundreds of news papers around here or the random graphics companies that aren't like big companies. Not that I don't like small companies but I mean they are just not doing the kind of stuff that I really want to be working at. Not to mention I'm constantly waiting on other peoples decisions for me to become accepted for what I do. And I totally get that that is how its been done for years and centuries and that it's all apart of the tradition and standards in the industry but I mean come on. How the hell long does it take to look at something and say 'yeah i like it, here's a shitty assignment no one else wants, but since your a rookie you get it.' I would be totally fine with that!!
Or like for some of these people I send queries or resumes or sample writing and illustrations to to just take a chance on me and let me fail or let me surprise them and succeed. I have no problem with these people expecting me to fail at an assignment, it doesn't bother me, I'm not afraid of failure. It will really suck at first but hell I'll get back up and learn from it and kick its ass next time around like a pro.
I just hate waiting on other people. I really want to start my own company in all honesty with some artist friends I know. My company though would be sort of an amalgam though; it would involve, publishing books of all kinds including comics and graphic novels, freelance illustration, freelance writing, full on production of feature films and sitcoms and webshows; including writing, directing, filming, casting, acting, all the stuff that goes into making a film happen. And yeah it will be really really really really tough at first but man it would be fun! I know it would, and I know it would take time and involve so much marketing and advertising that it would make me sick but it would damn be worth it I swear! I gotta do something or I'm going to blow up soon, and I feel ridiculous bursting what is basically me venting on this my blog that somebody reads I'm sure but yeah, it's where this happened.
So if your sick of waiting on other people to make shit happen that you believe in, let me know and let's help each other out seriously! I have to do something, I just don't know the steps to go about it, but rest assured I am going to figure this shit out.