Sometimes I think WHY?

Sometimes I think why? Why have talents at all? Why be able to do any of the things my talents allow me to be able to? It doesn't pay to be an artist, at least it doesn't for me right now....It really sucks badly actually and sometimes seems stupid. Although I know that if I wasn't able to draw, write or act I would be one really, really depressed person as I found out months ago when I fractured my hand. I could hardly hold a pencil or type on the computer and it drove me crazy. But still, I get so jealous of all my heroes out there making it everyday in the profession I so desperatley want to be a part of. How did they do it? Hard work and persistance, I guess and maybe being in the right place or knowing the right people? Well I've got to get me some of that, you know? The hard work I've got and will continue to do so, it's the knowing the right people part maybe? I mean, I know the method of the how to go about getting a job in comics or being an author and I've recently figured out the correct ways to go about getting an acting gig. ;P Sucks, because sometimes I feel like I meet other artists or authors and I feel like yeah they have great advice for me and everything but like I feel like they don't want to help me. Or maybe they can't because they're just trying to make it or whatever...who knows?

I just felt like ranting for a bit...I know no one really likes to hear complaining but sometimes people like to read it haha! Hopefully things pick up for me, I'm trying desperately to get another job along with my lovely job at Target. I have to have two jobs in order to make it, my fiances job pays a ton but not enough right now, and sometimes to be honest not that much at all...Life hits you like an angry beaver slapping some wood sometimes doesn't it? My wedding is in like two months, August 5th and I am fucking pumped up about that!!!!! It's going to be sick, not to mention I am marrying the woman of my dreams!!! And the honeymoon is going to be off the hook in Florida! I love Florida so much, it represents in my mind really fun times on vacation heh. And we're looking into getting a house soon and what not too. So gotta have money for that as well, things will pick up though right? Maybe I haven't hit bottom yet though probably, doesn't seem that bad really, we're still making it in our way. Oh well, sorry to add more complaining on the internet, not like anyone reads this blog anyway though ;P Love to all peeps!!